My Crystal Ball

There must be a crystal ball in my brain somewhere.  I know this because I continuously predict the future.  I spend hours and days knowing exactly what is going to happen. My crystal ball is like a good friend that enjoys giving me bad news. It shows me every tragic ending to every path me and my loved ones lives will take.

My crystal ball helps me not live in the now. It helps me dwell in the horrible, painful future, which is exciting, because it’s a true blessing to waste my life seeing every bad thing, instead of all the good I’m experiencing at this moment. Why would I possibly want to live in THIS moment? This moment where my family is alive and well, the internet is running just fine, my belly is full, the bills are paid, my ribs still hurt from the uproarious laughing with my sister at dinner. Misery, all of it, so why would I want to enjoy that?  No, that sounds just too peaceful for me and my crystal ball. I will allow my crystal ball to fill my mind and haunt my dreams, gripping me with such fear I am frozen from living any kind of life in reality or the present moment.

Thank you crystal ball, for wasting so much of my life.