So I’m sitting in traffic today, going over the past few days in my head. A long time build up of mutual resentments finally came to a vicious confrontation with an unethical woman who betrayed me and stole from me. I know I’m in the right, and she’s not, but her claws and teeth were out. It was harsh. So now, I am cloudy with this bad feeling like I’ve done something wrong, but I know I haven’t. I feel like a jerk, even though I didn’t do any of the things of which she accused me. I feel like something horrible is going to come out of it, even though the worst is most likely over. I’ve got on my shit-tinted glasses, so the whole world looks like crap to me. My self image is little more than a frownie face. I don’t wanna feel this way any more. As I drive, I begin to get angry, angry at her, angry at myself for letting her words penetrate my psyche and change how I feel about me. Hey, dammit – I control me, not she! I will choose to be happy right now. I begin to practice the live in the now technique. However, some seriously rude drivers along the way begin to taint the experience of “the now”, so I have to try something else. Maybe something new. I came up with this, and it worked for the rest of the day.
When you begin to doubt yourself or the future, try being arrogant. It’s probably not your normal style, certainly not your everyday ‘tude, but when you get in a state of worry, especially if it’s related to wondering if someone doesn’t like you, or wondering if someone or something is going to harm you, try this.
Don an arrogant attitude for a while. Why? You’ll see once I explain how to do it.
Here’s how:
Are you having a fear/worry episode or a panic attack right now? If you are having a full panic attack, first practice breathing very slowly. See this wikipedia article for breathing exercises.
Let’s begin your worksheet with a few questions. Please get a pen and paper and write down your answers fully. This worksheet works best with a single isolated incident. For ongoing problems like an abusive husband or crappy job, see Dealing Worksheet:
Did you repeat those 10 times? If not, keep going. By the 3rd or 4th round, you will memorize some, and when that happens, I want you to close your eyes, and focus on the meaning of the words, and really sound them in to your core. Mean them, feel them, embrace them, own them. Now say them some more. Trust me. You are worthy of this time you are spending on yourself.
When done, go about your day. Leave the action plan behind until it is needed, if it even ever is (big if). It’s ok to let it go. Let your mind off the hook. You already have everything handled that you can possibly do now. Go now. Go on, enjoy yourself. Do something fun.
If you would like interactive help and advice, please complete and submit the form found here. *NOTE: I am not a doctor, nor licensed mental health care practitioner. Any advice or help offered is just one person to another, like a friend who cares. By submitting the form, you acknowledge this and release us from any and all liability. If you need immediate help or are feeling suicidal, please call 911 right now.
As I sit and worry about the worry-du-jour, or for me, more like the worry de l’heure. (worry of the hour), I think, “what if…”. The what if question feels like an end to itself, which is clearly the worst, most terrifying possibility it can be, and the end of all of life’s happiness, and I’m certain nothing will ever be good again and that feeling permeates every part of my body until I’m ill and exhausted. Images of the worst case scenarios play out in my brain like the most macabre of short-attention-span movies. What are the chances it’s actually the “level 10” tragedy I’m certain it is? More likely it’s a non-issue, a zero. Or, maybe it’s a level 2, a minor annoyance. Could be a level 6, which is a pretty high level of suck, and will involve time and effort to get over, through, fix, mend, heal, etc., but I can and will.
Despite the odds, my mind races with endless “what if’s…” What I fail to do, is actually answer that question… What IF this thing happens? Answer the question. Well, if it does, I have to do this thing, or that thing, and possibly cry and mourn, and not to sound cold, but I will get through it. Whatever your worry is, you WILL get through it. Even if it is that most horrible, level 10 of all tragedies.
This site is dedicated to those who have anxieties, panic or fear about any aspect in their lives.
If you feel anxiety about your job, your marriage, your future… or anything, you’ve come to the right place for help.
With anxieties, fear and panic, many of us become depressed and dysfunctional. This site is to help those of us who are truly worried, and frozen with fear, stand up and take control of ourselves. Control what we can control – our reactions. Become that carefree, easy going spirit we strive for.
We employ several methodologies to achieve this: