Loss is the Bottom Line

As I sit and worry about the worry-du-jour, or for me, more like the worry de l’heure. (worry of the hour), I think, “what if…”.¬† The what if question feels like an end to itself, which is clearly the worst, most terrifying possibility it can be, and the end of all of life’s happiness, and I’m certain nothing will ever be good again and that feeling permeates every part of my body until I’m ill and exhausted. Images of the worst case scenarios play out in my brain like the most macabre of short-attention-span movies. What are the chances it’s actually the “level 10” tragedy I’m certain it is? More likely it’s a non-issue, a zero. Or, maybe it’s a level 2, a minor annoyance. Could be a level 6, which is a pretty high level of suck, and will involve time and effort to get over, through, fix, mend, heal, etc., but I can and will.

Despite the odds, my mind races with endless “what if’s…” What I fail to do, is actually answer that question…¬† What IF this thing happens? Answer the question. Well, if it does, I have to do this thing, or that thing, and possibly cry and mourn, and not to sound cold, but I will get through it. Whatever your worry is, you WILL get through it. Even if it is that most horrible, level 10 of all tragedies.

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One Response to Loss is the Bottom Line

  1. dy corbett says:

    I realize that tomatoes will spoil, flowers will shrink, and need to be thrown away. I can’t throw flowers away, it is bothersome to me. I need to realize that the beauty and thought behind flowers is what I should embrace. I can’t get flowers from a loved one with the first thought , omg they will die. I have to enjoy the beauty and the feeling that it was meant to be and not , they will die. this too is part of life, however,I am selfish, I want to die before my children do. I know I’d have to go on, but I’d rather not. they are the flowers of my life.
    I have to make every minute count,not count every minute until they are gone. I need to approach everyday with joy and happiness that God has intended for us.
    I will work on this……… starting today. let me know if you experience this too.

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